A pensar

One of the most frustrating experiences of my life occurred while I was in Guatemala in May of 2010.  I was with a group from St. Joe's in a very rural area of the country, and our main job was mixing cement.  However, nearly every day there was someone new in charge of telling us what to do, and most of the time the guy didn't have much experience with cement.  Our group had figured out the correct ratio of piedra, arena, concreto, y agua pretty early on, and since the combination of hot sun and manual labor didn't mix very well, I felt myself often getting impatient with the Guatemalan men telling us to do something different and then realizing that they were wrong.  Of course, being a silly gringa, it would have been rude of me to tell these men that I knew better than them.  And since I was only there for 10 days, the whole situation became something to laugh about and to reflect on.

Lately, I've found myself reflecting on this experience a lot, especially on how it relates to my life right now.

I am a well-educated young adult.  I am very good at thinking things through and planning accordingly.  Unfortunately, this can be a gift and a curse when it comes to working at the Good Samaritan Clinic.

My roommates and I sometimes joke that after our year with Mercy Volunteer Corps, we should just open up a road-side stand where we can do peoples' thinking for them.  After all, that is what most of our jobs come down to.

I don't ever want to talk down to people.  I don't ever want to lose sight of the many challenges that my patients have had in their lives, especially related to poverty, abuse, poor education, neglect, etc.  I've had a remarkably easy life, and I have no right to patronize people whose shoes I can never walk in.

But, at the same time, part of me really does want to tell people to just trust me because I really do think I know better.  Maybe it's an ugly thing to think that I have the gift of foresight that many people don't have, and I feel guilty for saying that, but it's the truth.